Discouraged And Determined
It’s been so long! I’ve missed you! I had a huge exam today for my Anatomy/Physiology class and I have been super stressed about it! After my bout with stresses last semester, I have learned to channel it in a positive direction….studying my butt off and ….drum roll…. I am released to be active again! I suppose I have never really clarified what happened that took me out of commision. Unfortunately, the answer is not at all simple. So, let’s go with the condensed Reader’s Digest version, shall we? In honor of Flashback Friday, I have added some pics from the past couple of years. I searched for pics of my highest weight and came up empty since I did a good job avoiding the camera. I will tell you this: I was active in school activities in high school. I was involved in Varsity Cheerleading, Chorus, Competition Cheerleading, Competitive Vocals, Chursh Cantoring, and more! But, I gained 80 pounds a few months before my senior year began. I won’t go into detail but my weight had fluctuated throughout the years and was pretty low when I met my fiance. I became a little too comfortable and I had gained some weight when I became engaged. This wasn’t the end of the world but the weight gain was due to lots of eating out and little exercise. So, I decided to join Team In Training. I loved it! The whole experience was great. But, when I became pregnant, my doctor suggested that I cease the training since it was something that was new to my body.
I did gain a little weight during pregnancy. That is what’s supposed to happen. My pregnancy was a very healthy one.
I had no problems with blood pressure, glucose, etc. After I had Snuff, I was a little more round than I liked.
I had gone back to work six weeks after giving birth to my daughter. But, I had gone back to the gym three weeks after her birth. I loved my workouts! I looked forward to them! It was hard to leave Snuffy at first. My first workout post pregnancy was 20 minutes on the eliptical and I cried the whole way home because I felt so guilty for leaving my baby. Soon I was able to stay at the gym without an emotional meltdown on the way home. I incorporated strength and resistance with my cardio. I began to look forward to my time at the gym. It was my “me time”.
(Taken Hallowen 2008)
I was a much better mommy, employee and fiance when I was able to de-stress. When Snuffy was 9 months old I was able to go back to school which was something I never thought I would have the oppurtunity to do. Most of my credits did not transfer from my stint at SIU a couple years prior. So, I started almost fresh at Xavier University. I was excited and nervous. I took on a heavy class load that was considered over full-time and I continued to work. There was very little time for anything but school, work and Snuffy. My health suffered because I had abandoned my workouts inside and outside of the gym. I had also let my nutritional goals slide. I lost a lot of muscle mass because I wasn’t using my muscles like I had been.
When I started this blog, I was hoping to be back to my active lifestyle and workout routine quickly. That did not happen due to unexplained hives and migraines. I was pretty upset about the delay. But, a few days ago I was finally given the okay to begin a workout routine again! I was so excited! I have only done some light yoga during these past few months. When I began my workout I realized how much strength that I have lost. I was so disouraged. I cannot even do half the amount of reps that I was doing. My endurance level is really low too. I wanted to run in a few races this fall but that is not feasible. I feel like I am starting from scratch. As I worked through each exercise, I became more and more discouraged. Then I realized that this is not the worst scenario. I am able to start all over. It’s hard but it’s doable. I have the oppurtunity to rebuild my strength and endurance and I have some great resources and inspirations to help me along! I used to tell friends not to be embarrassed in the gym because everyone has to start somewhere and now it’s time that I take my own advice. 
I had planned to post some Apple Pie pics and some recaps of Mallard’s reactions to my two Apple Pie re-takes but my bigs were too big. I don’t mean too big in size but too big in mega pixels. You see, Mallard didn’t have an anniversary gift for me on our anniversary and he said it would be arriving within the next few weeks. I honestly just figured he never remembered the anniversary. But, I came home from a late study sesh to find a new laptop and desk in my room!! I was so excited !! I have been doing all of my homework and blogging on our bed with the old HP that is falling apart!! I took pics of the old set-up versus the new but they were too big as well! You see, my old laptop had an HP Photo program that allowed me to change the mega pixels manually but this computer had nothing but the Canon program that I added from my camera package. It does not have the same features. I have since found out how to take pics that are already “blog friendly” size but that does me no good regarding the Pumpkin Patch and Apple Pie pic that were already taken. Too bad the old HP is dunzo. Yep, won’t even power on.
I really enjoyed reading this! I think you have a great approach to fitness.. you’ll regain your strength and endurance in no time! I’ve read about something called “muscle memory” and apparently if you stop working out for a while it’s much easier to get your muscle back!
I loved this flashback!! You make me want a kid
Seriously, you are such a great mother and I only hope I’m as healthy and as good with my children as you are, you should be proud.
Sorry I can’t help you with the photo problem. I use iPhoto and it’s truly a great program. So..get a Mac!
I applaud all that you do…your a Super Woman, very inspiring. I need to up my workouts and hit the gym too some more.
Photobucket is a good one to try for resizing.
I love the first pic of you, pregnant and in pink, you’re just glowing!
2 weeks ago I posted a FBF pic of me and my daughter, minutes old, getting ready to nurse. I love that pic and had it on my memory stick but all my truly “flashback pics” are real 4×6′s. Sigh.
Thanks for all your great comments this week on my blog, so appreciated. I cherish comments from other moms b/c we “know what it’s like” to raise a child. And yes, I agree that H’Ween and candy is a once a year thing to have a few pieces and not make too big a deal about it and move on. Kids eat healthy 360+ days a year so a few wont really matter is my ‘tude. Glad to hear yours is similar.
xoxo
I so enjoyed this story!! I’m excited that you can finally be active again! You will definitely feel great, I know it! I did gymnastics and cheerleading too! What a great workout, huh?
Picnik! I use those for my tastespotting pics. Also, do you use Windows Live Writer? You can get them to automatically format resizing for you.
Yay for exercise! It comes with tons of benefits, so I’m glad you’ve started again, and don’t worry about the low endurance and strength. Those are meant to be built up! I’m sure you’ll recover them in no time!
It is discouraging to not be as strong or have as much stamina as you used to, but now you are physically able to start over. It will be fun to use new routines and exercises to make a stronger you!
You look great by the way! The months of not exercising did not hurt you sista!
thanks for sharing your story! You look great during your pregnancy and so happy too!
getting back to normal workout isn’t instantaneous… don’t be discourage… just stick to your new routine and you’ll gain it back soon!
yay for apple pie! I’ll be excited to see the pics when you are able to post them! Sorry i don’t have any brilliant ideas for fixing them though. Loved reading your story–congratulations on your road to health and good luck with your activity. Missed ya! xoxo
Love how open and honest you are. I think a lot of the time we make health and fitness seem so easy and natural and its not always (or ever
) like that. Keep on plugging! Also- please remember all of the amazing things that you are (mommy, wife, student, etc, etc). Have a great halloween
I love this post. Thanks for sharing your pregnancy and fitness experiences! You and Snuffy always glow and seem to radiate with health!
Have you tried Fotoflexer.com? It’s free, and I think resizes.
i enjoyed reading this!! thanks for being personal with the bloggie world
congrats on being able to be active again!
you have such a great outlook on fitnes, its refreshing! thats so sweet that you cried the first 20 min on the elliptical b/c you missed your daughter..now that is true motherly love
hmm as far as photos go, I use iphoto which is free with the mac, but I hear photo bucket is good!
xox
I completely agree with how you feel about loosing muscle and endurance. It is hard. It is discouraging. But, the fact that you posted that great post and are being completely honest with how you feel, makes all the difference! You can do it! We are all here, reading you through it! (and offering encouragement!) We all go through this with one part of our life or another.
Can’t wait for updates! Thanks for the post!
Lori
Isn’t it funny that when we let go of something, because it doesn’t fuel us at the time (reading, walking, a class…) and then re-accept it again, how it can give us such a high. With everything on your plate, I am impressed at your ability to choose your strength wisely. Bless you!
you are such an inspiration for keeping on fighting – despite all the setbacks you have! sometimes it takes not being able to do something to appreciate it fully when you have it back!
i am soooo glad snuffy is loving the applesauce – can’t wait to see the pics of that